Sunday, March 24, 2024

Musical Sunday


It's been a while since we've heard from the geniuses at The Parody Project, and so it's time for another visit. This time, they hit it out of the park with a take-off on the classic Kingston Trio song "Tom Dooley" ... 


What do you think are the chances? 

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming. 

Bilbo

Saturday, March 23, 2024

Cartoon Saturday


As my Dad would have said, if this year were a fish, I'd throw it back. 

Self-described multi-billionaire Der Furor is unable to find an insurance company willing to underwrite a bond to cover the $464 million judgement against him in his New York civil fraud case, but has reengineered the Republican National Committee to siphon off funds to help pay his legal bills at the expense of the larger party; billionaire philanthropist MacKenzie Scott is giving $640 million to 361 non-profit organizations, more than double her previously planned donations for the year; dueling decisions from the Supreme Court and the 5th US Circuit Court of Appeals have led to confusion over which laws governing illegal arrivals apply in Texas; a terror attack on a theater in Moscow, allegedly by ISIS terrorists, has killed more than 90 people; and in France, athletes at the upcoming Paris Olympic Games have been assured of enough condoms to allow each athlete two for each day of the event, helping them rise to the occasion.

I've been a little under the weather this week with the Allergies from Hell, so I didn't feel like curating a set of cartoons on a particular theme. Here are a few that just spoke to me this week for one reason or another ... 

Well, the GOP is halfway there ...


In today's lawyer-glutted America, that's how it works ...


This one appeared back on Super Tuesday, but it applies for most Tuesdays in this year ...


An oldie but goodie from the legendary Don Martin at MAD Magazine ...


If he were a physicist, he should have know better ...


Saying the quiet part out loud ...


It seems to be working properly ...


If anyone can beat an audit, it's this guy ...


I've used this cartoon before, but it gets more accurate with each passing week ...


This is how it will look when my children and grandchildren sit down for the Great Announcement ...


Have a good day and a great weekend. Beware of lawyers and of politicians who claim to say "what people are thinking" ... those particular people aren't thinking anything good.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Friday, March 22, 2024

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2024


March grinds on as we grimly prepare ourselves for the ever-increasing levels of election year buffoonery. Endless pleas for money from office-seekers compete for our attention with angry, dystopian imagery pushed by a party that has no defensible platform on which to run. Much of the shrill shouting comes from the spokesmen (and spokeswomen) handsomely paid to debase themselves in the service of the Velveeta Voldemort, and that is why I have selected as

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2024


Steven Cheung


Mr Cheung is a professional political advisor for Republican office-seekers, beginning with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and continuing to his present job as a spokesman and advisor for Der Furor's 2024 presidential campaign. In between, he served as a "director of communications for public affairs" at the Unlimited Fighting Championship (UFC) in Las Vegas ... a position which certainly must have appealed to the angrily violent style of Der Furor. 

Mr Cheung is noted for his take-no-prisoners responses to criticisms of Der Furor, a style which can be compared to that of famously bombastic North Korean regime spokeswoman Ri Chun-hee.  He has employed a matchless level of dignified gravitas to denounce unwelcome criticisms as "pure bullshit and fake news," and to state that GOP presidential wannabe Nikki Haley is ... going to drop down to kiss [Der Furor's] ass when she quits, like she always does. In another memorable statement, Mr Cheung denounced those who took issue with Der Furor's description of his political enemies as "vermin," saying that, "those who try to make that ridiculous assertion are clearly snowflakes grasping for anything because they are suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome and their entire existence will be crushed when President Trump returns to the White House."

Mr Cheung also took to the media to loudly object to the $454 million judgement against Der Furor in his New York civil fraud trial, claiming that, “A bond of this size would be an abuse of the law, contradict bedrock principals of our Republic, and fundamentally undermine the rule of law in New York” - a somewhat long-winded way to express outrage that Der Furor had finally been called to account for his actions.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today we present the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to GOP mouthpiece Steven Cheung, the bile-spewing spokesman for someone who speaks poorly - and embarrassingly - enough on his own.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Unseen University Disciplines


A while back, my nephew Ed sent me a marvelously funny meme titled "Unseen University Disciplines" ... a compilation of fields of academic study which are supposedly "in," replacing some of the no-longer-current Hogwarts classes. It occurs to me that many of these are important areas of study to help understand the bonzo crazy times we are now living through. Here are a few examples I culled from the list ...

Indefinite Studies. I think this one applies well to students who delay graduation because they know they'll never find a job that will repay their student loans.

Inadvisably Applied Magic. This one probably falls under the Economics faculty, and refers to the mystic belief in the power of magical things like "trickle-down economics."

Cruel and Unusual Geography. Detailed study and analysis of Russian territorial demands on its independent neighbors.

Illiberal Studies. Given that ultraconservative Republicans have joined with people like Hungarian leader Victor Orban to embrace "illiberal democracy" (aka "dictatorship"), this will probably be a popular extension course for MAGAts seeking to overturn democratic ideals and embrace government by "Christian" theocracy. 

Wooly Thinking. A general introduction to and survey of Republican economic and political theories.

There were also two courses I wouldn't have minded taking myself ...

Morbid Bibliomancy. It could help with the downsizing of my enormous personal library.

Extreme Horticulture. This sounds like a fun, high-energy approach to gardening. Now that spring is almost here, I think I'll sign up.

It's good that I'm retired and have lots of time to sign up for esoteric classes. Maybe I can get Mike or John to join me.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Sunday, March 17, 2024

Poetry Sunday


We live in strange and frightening times. A resurgent Russia, trying to seize back an independent Ukraine, threatens nuclear war. Der Furor noisily paints a picture of a "bloodbath for the country" if he loses the election, and a national hellscape utterly at odds with reality, but fervently believed by his cult. Storms become worse and sea levels rise as the climate responds to our centuries of abuse. Yes, it's a tough time. How do we cope? Today's poem by Kim Stafford has some suggestions ...

Citizen of Dark Times
by Kim Stafford

Agenda in a time of fear: Be not afraid.
When things go wrong, do right.
Set out by the half-light of the seeker.
For the well-lit problem begins to heal.

Learn tropism toward the difficult.
We have not arrived to explain, but to sing.
Young idealism ripens into an ethical life.
Prune back regret to let faith grow.

When you hit rock bottom, dig farther down.
Grief is the seed of singing, shame the seed of song.
Keep seeing what you are not saying.
Plunder your reticence.

Songbird guards a twig, its only weapon a song.


If your only weapon is a song, be sure you sing it loud enough to resonate with those who refuse to sing. 

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, March 16, 2024

Cartoon Saturday


Please, just make it stop ... 

Russians are voting for president, with Vladimir Putin the only actual candidate - the sort of election favored by contemporary Republicans; Fulton County Georgia Judge Scott McAfee ruled on Friday that District Attorney Fani Willis can stay on and prosecute the Georgia 2020 election interference racketeering case against former President Donald Trump and 14 of his co-defendants, but only if she removes the special prosecutor with whom she engaged in a romantic relationship in order to avoid any appearance of impropriety (that prosecutor has resigned); the Army's West Point military academy changed its mission statement (but not it's motto, which remains "Duty, Honor, Country") to reflect the values it seeks to inculcate in future officers - which caused Congressional Republicans' heads to explode and charge the academy with the unforgivable sin of "wokeness;" the House of Representatives has passed and sent to the Senate a bill making offer of the popular social media app TikTok illegal in the United States unless its owner sells it within six months, ensuring it is no longer under the potential control of a "foreign adversary" (China); and in Thailand (not, oddly enough, Florida), a would-be alpha male is recovering after emergency room doctors successfully cut eleven penis rings from his swollen member. 

There are a lot of cartoons out there that take off on the lyrics to popular songs. This week, we'll take a look at a few of them ... 

Don't worry, he'll survive ...


Inspiration comes from many places ...


If you need something to sing at breakfast ...


Yep, some classics just can't be improved on ...


Most of us don't have to worry about our choice of washing machines, but classical musicians sometimes do ...


He needs somebody ...


It's a long setup for a joke, but I'll take it ...


It's a matter of opinion ...


It's important to pick the right song to sing to your beloved ...


Mr Zevon seems to have trouble with his alibi ...


And that's it for this week's cartoon Saturday sing-along - I hope you enjoyed it. Have a good day and a great weekend, and come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, March 15, 2024

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


It's the ides of March, and time for us to take another stab (sorry) at Great Moments in Editing and Signage ... 

The 2024 official drink of the undecided voter ...


As endorsed by Alabama Senator Katie Britt in her bizarre State of the Union rebuttal last week ...


The high-caliber standard for modern American manhood ...


I'm no expert, but I think it's a bit late for that ...


Just what ... or who ... are we exhuming, here? ...


Has there ever been a better room number assigned for an office? ...


If I were going to pay $49 for an eerie antique wall sconce, I'd want it full evil ...


If this is the #1 school district in the state, I wonder which one is #2 ...


If I were going to name my "Christian center," I think I'd pick a less ... uh ... suggestive name ...


If this is the sermon topic at the Third Presbyterian Church, I wonder what the topics are at the First and Second ...


And, as the late, great Walter Cronkite would have said, that's the way it is for today's collection of great moments. I hope it brought a smile ... if not a grimace ... to your face.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thursday, March 14, 2024

An Endless Series of Hobson's Choices


A "Hobson's Choice" is defined as: (1) an apparently free choice when there is no real alternative; and (2) the necessity of accepting one of two or more equally objectionable alternatives. In its second meaning, it can be compared to the popular expression "damned if you do, damned if you don't."


It occurs to me that the modern American presidency is a job defined as an endless series of Hobson's Choices:

Support Israel's war in Gaza (angering progressive and Arab-American voters), or act to protect needlessly suffering Gazan civilians (risking accusation of anti-semitism and support of genocide); 

Provide sensitive intelligence briefings to Der Furor (a provably untrustworthy scoundrel who could otherwise never qualify to hold a security clearance), or deny them (and be thunderingly accused of "election interference"); 

Try to reform immigration laws so they make sense (and offend both supporters and opponents of immigration, depending on what reforms are suggested); 

Support measures to decrease gun violence (and be denounced by gun rights advocates), or support unrestricted gun ownership and carriage (ensuring the probability of future mass murders); 

Advocate policies that ensure individuals and businesses pay fair shares of the tax burden (earning the support of Main Street), or support tax policies that benefit businesses and the wealthy, and place a higher burden on average taxpayers without political influence (earning the support of Wall Street); and,

Reduce government spending by cutting social programs (delighting the right and offending the left) or by ending policies that economically benefit businesses and the wealthy (delighting the left and offending the right). 

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Will Rogers was right ... we shouldn't elect a president, we should elect a magician.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

The Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale, Updated


I decided, back in 2021, that we needed a unit of measurement for stupidity. This was meant to augment both my National Stupidity Index (DUMBCON), which estimates the overall level of national stupidity at a given time, and the twice- (sometimes thrice-) monthly Ass Clown Awards, which single out specific individuals and groups for recognition of ass clownery above and beyond the call of doody.

I established the Gohmert Stupidity Scale* in a pair of blog posts (here and here) in June, 2021, and called the unit of stupidity the "gohmert," abbreviated ghm. Experience of use led me to change the scale in March of last year to the Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale, taking advantage of the stupidity multiplier represented by Georgia representative Marjorie Taylor-Greene (aka Empty G) and updating the abbreviation to gag. Now, however, universal stupidity has reached such a level that I feel compelled to update the scale once again. The new version updates some descriptions and examples, and introduces "unfocused anger" as a contributing factor in the calculation.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I give you The Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale, Version 3.0 ... click it to embiggen the image for easier reading.


Have a good day, and feel free to use the updated scale as you need to describe the idiocy state of individuals and groups in this bizarre year. Comments for improvements and updates are welcome.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Named in "honor" of former Texas Representative Louie Gohmert, whose level of personal stupidity set a new standard even in a Congress not noted for its intellectual brilliance.

Monday, March 11, 2024

Talking the Talk


Last Thursday evening President Biden delivered the traditional and Constitutionally-mandated* State of the Union speech. As has become sadly normal in these times, the speech was less a dignified overview of the current state and future direction of the nation than a feistily-delivered and angrily-received laundry list that checked all the expected boxes (reproductive rights, voting rights, Ukraine, Gaza, immigration, presidential vitality, etc).


Simply put, the State of the Union speech (or "SOTU," for short) is what has replaced inspirational, thought-provoking oration. As drama and theater critic Peter Marks said a few years ago, 

“... if you’ve ever listened to some of the desultory rhetoric from the well of the Senate, you know that American politics has not exactly built an assembly line of Ciceros.”

As you may recall, I love public speaking and think I'm pretty good at it**. I enjoy preparing and delivering an entertaining and thought-provoking speech, and I especially enjoy listening to one. Unfortunately, nowadays there aren't a lot of speeches worth listening to.

We've come a long way from Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, Franklin Roosevelt's stirring "Four Freedoms" and first inaugural ("Nothing to fear but fear itself") speeches, and John F. Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you" inaugural address.

What do we have now?

We have angry, meaningless word salads from Der Furor that are nevertheless cheered by those unused to thinking in terms of the nation, the world, and the common good. Or, in fact, to thinking at all.


We have a State of the Union address delivered in a forcefully belligerent tone in an attempt to combat the persistent image of a president diminished by age ... an address that was memorable more for its delivery than for its content.

This is sad.

I serve from time to time as a judge for local high school debates, and enjoy the chance to see young people do the difficult work of organizing and presenting ideas with the aim of changing minds. Unfortunately, while they are almost always superb at amassing facts and assembling arguments, they tend to be far less skilled at actually delivering those arguments in a way that will sway the opinions of their audience. Emphasis is placed more on the rapid-fire delivery of as many facts and arguments as can be jammed into a given period of time (anywhere from two to seven minutes in most debates I judge) ... with the result that the listener feels like the exhausted survivor of an oratorical tsunami. 

I firmly believe that two of the most vital skills we can teach our children are to speak and write clearly ... and yet these are the skills lost on a population unable or unwilling to read complex arguments, write cogent and thoughtful letters, and deliver or listen to thought-provoking, challenging speeches.

We don't need the lost assembly line of Ciceros bemoaned by Peter Marks, but we do need a population that can read, listen, speak, and think ... the very population that, sadly, can be swayed by the useless blatherings of empty windbags.

Have a good day, and listen critically to the speeches you hear during this election year. Learn to separate the wheat of rational ideas and policies from the chaff of unfocused anger and retribution. Vote for content - not for noise.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Article 2, Section 3, Clause 1.

** Pats self on back.